Argh. I feel so trapped lately. Like i have kids that I have to worry about and they are slowing me down with things that I want to do. Mind you, I love kids, and I want them fairly young, but I want to explore first and then have them and explore with them.
I want to go to university and study abroad. I feel like I can not do that though, I pretty much have a family with my boyfriend, dog and cat, so I have to think about them, not to mention and my boyfriends job is not easily move-able. Which sucks, because I really, really, really want to travel and see the world but it doesn't look like I am going to get that chance. I hate saying that to my boyfriend, because I know he feels bad but sometimes I can't help it, I keep hoping that he will be like 'YEAHH LETS GO, FUCK EVERYTHING!' But that just would not be fair to him. I feel like he is doing and getting everything he wants and I just have to try and fit my life around his where ever I can. Which in the end will make his life fantastic and fulfilling, and mine pretty dull and mediocre. Which is so not living life to the fullest. I don't want to look back on my life and say 'I wish I did this and this and this' I want to look back and say 'That was fucking awesome'. I hope I find a way to make this work. Maybe he would agree to a temporary break? But I don't know if that if something I want. I just want to drag him and the animals everywhere with me.
I want to go to university and study abroad. I feel like I can not do that though, I pretty much have a family with my boyfriend, dog and cat, so I have to think about them, not to mention and my boyfriends job is not easily move-able. Which sucks, because I really, really, really want to travel and see the world but it doesn't look like I am going to get that chance. I hate saying that to my boyfriend, because I know he feels bad but sometimes I can't help it, I keep hoping that he will be like 'YEAHH LETS GO, FUCK EVERYTHING!' But that just would not be fair to him. I feel like he is doing and getting everything he wants and I just have to try and fit my life around his where ever I can. Which in the end will make his life fantastic and fulfilling, and mine pretty dull and mediocre. Which is so not living life to the fullest. I don't want to look back on my life and say 'I wish I did this and this and this' I want to look back and say 'That was fucking awesome'. I hope I find a way to make this work. Maybe he would agree to a temporary break? But I don't know if that if something I want. I just want to drag him and the animals everywhere with me.